Love notes Page 2
Erika sensed rather than saw Aiden stop beside her table but she didn’t trust herself to raise her eyes.
“Good morning, Erika,” he said quietly. “It’s good to see you again.”
“I wish I could say the same.” Her face burned with fury and her whole body tensed, ready to run. “I told you I never wanted to see you again.”
Aiden sat down with the confidence of an invited guest and beckoned to a waiter. “Is that any way to talk to an old friend?” he asked.
“You’re no friend of mine.”
“No. We were once much more than that.”
Erika longed to vent her anger properly but the waiter had already reached the table and was laying an extra place. Once too often, fragments of her conversation had been relayed by hotel staff and distorted by the press so she wasn’t going to give a hint of the animosity underlying her relationship with Aiden Thirstan.
Not that five passionate months, followed by a hideously acrimonious break-up could be considered a relationship in Erika’s eyes.
As soon as the waiter moved out of earshot, Erika leaned across the table. “As I said, what the hell are you doing here?”
“Having breakfast.” Aiden helped himself to her coffee and raised his cup in a mock toast. “It’s been a long time.”
“Not long enough for my liking. Never again, would have been too soon for me.”
He tutted and leaned back in his chair. “That’s not very polite.”
“Funny, I don’t remember you ever having a great deal of manners.”
Aiden held up a finger to correct her. “Manners, yes. Morals, no. There’s a difference.”
“…and you never let a promise come between you and the next notch on your bedpost,” Erika reminded him, making it obvious the memory still smarted.
The merest flicker of his eyelid told her she’d hit a nerve and she silently chalked up a minor victory.
Aiden had seemed tall when standing over her but, even seated, he still dwarfed Erika. She’d forgotten the sheer breadth and power of him, the squareness of his chest and the way his shoulders flexed beneath his heavy shirt.
Unsettled, she moved to leave. “You can eat alone,” she told him, “because I refuse to share a table with you.”
She pushed back her chair but Aiden moved too quickly and caught her wrist. His grip encircled her slender arm; insistent without being unnecessarily rough, but no amount of twisting would release it.
“Sit down.” Aiden’s command came as little more than a whisper. “You and I have a great deal to talk about.”
Furious, Erika realised she had no choice but to do as he said – she couldn’t leave without causing a scene and, the last thing she needed right now was a brawl with Aiden Thirstan making the front page of the tabloids. Marty would have her on the first plane back to America.
She therefore sat down again, raising her free hand to show she wouldn’t put up any further resistance and his grip loosened.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and anyone knowing him less well might have believed him. “I hope I didn’t hurt you. But I need to talk to you.”
“I don’t think there’s anything left to say, is there?”
“There’s plenty. You never heard my side of the story, don’t forget.” He leaned closer to say more but Erika’s eyes lost focus and she swayed slightly as if light-headed. “Are you OK?” He spoke quickly and urgently, his voice loaded with concern. “You look like ready to faint.”
Erika closed her eyes, feeling cold and sick as the blood pooled in her feet and the colour drained from her face. “Jet lag,” she croaked, her voice weak. “We only arrived last night. I’m going back to my room to lie down.” She tried to leave for a second time but her legs wouldn’t support her and she sat back down quickly.
Aiden beckoned urgently to a waiter, demanding that he bring some toast straight away. He spread a slice thickly with butter and raspberry jam – always her favourite – and held it out to her. “Here. Eat this. Your blood sugar’s dropped and you need something sweet.”
Faced with food for the first time in hours, Erika found herself ravenous and ate the toast quickly whilst Aiden buttered another slice for himself.
“You look like a good meal would kill you,” he said bluntly. “What the hell happened?”
“It’s been a gruelling year.”
She wished she’d taken more care over her appearance. After her break up with Aiden she’d imagined seeing him again; fantasised about making him regret breaking her heart because she looked so drop dead gorgeous. Yet here she sat, face scrubbed clean, hair pulled back and seriously underweight, looking exhausted.
“The first half of my stadium tour lost money,” she went on, having no idea why she was telling him because he didn’t deserve an explanation. “We were forced to tag on extra dates to recoup our losses,”
“You lost money?” Aiden couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Is everything all right with you?”
“Fine. Not that it’s any of your business.”
“But you were the biggest selling artiste last year. How can your tour be losing money?”
“Like I said, it’s none of your business.” She picked up the menu and half hid behind it, pretending to read. “You lost the right to meddle in my affairs five years ago. You’re not getting a second chance.”
Aiden hooked a finger over the top of the menu so he could see her face. “That’s why we need to talk.”
“So? You have my attention.” She stared back at him, butter still glistening on her lips. “If it’s so urgent, talk to me.”
“Not here. Somewhere more private.” He looked around at the now half-full dining room. “With your reputation and my loud voice, it’d be an eavesdropper’s delight. Front page news by tomorrow.”
It was a faint attempt at humour but it broke the ice and Erika thawed slightly, largely because she lacked the energy to argue. Letting his betrayal still eat away at her put the power back into his hands, and she wouldn’t let him continue controlling her life five years down the line.
She wouldn’t exactly forgive and forget how he’d broken her heart, but she could at least make him understand she’d moved on and that she was completely indifferent to him.
“I’m sorry. I’m not used to company.” She sounded cool and detached. “When you’re with Marty all day, you lose your social graces. It’s a defence mechanism.”
“We’re both out of practice.” Aiden shrugged it off. “Why don’t we start again? Let’s pretend we’re strangers sharing a table.”
“There’s too much history to ever be that.”
As if to prove this, the waiter reappeared and Aiden ordered a full breakfast for each of them, being very specific over Erika’s order and remembering every one of her preferences, even though it had been years. She felt touched until she remembered that attention to detail had always been Aiden’s trademark. It had been what made him so credible.
And so dangerous.
“When the reports said you were back in England, I knew you’d head here,” Aiden said when the waiter left them alone. “This is where you were happiest.”
“And anonymous,” Erika reminded him. “No one pays attention to the chambermaid.”
“I did.” Aiden allowed himself a smile at the memory of returning to his hotel room one morning to find a younger Erika cleaning his bathroom and changing the towels. “I couldn’t help but notice you.”
“That was a long time ago.” She refused to follow Aiden down Memory Lane to a time when she’d been a student earning money in the university holidays by working at the hotel. “A great deal has changed.”
“For a start, you can afford to stay here now. Back then you were cleaning during the day, singing in pub gigs most evenings and sharing a room in the attic.”
“I thought I worked hard back then,” Erika admitted ruefully, “but it was nothing compared with my schedule now.” She sat back in her chair as the waiter laid a plate of sausage, e
ggs and bacon in front of her and she inhaled the heavenly aroma of fried food. “You don’t get breakfasts like this in California.” She let her guard slip momentarily, catching her breath at the way Aiden smiled in response.
How could she have forgotten that sexy, sexy smile, she asked herself?
There it was again. Warm. Seductive. Persuasive.
And still with the power to make every fibre of her body react, even after everything that had happened. She looked down quickly at her food to hide her confusion.
“You still haven’t told me why you’re here,” she reminded him. “What are you running away from?”
“Nothing. I’m running toward you.”
“Me?”
“When I heard you’d landed in Leeds I got straight in my car and came here.”
“Why?”
“Like I said, I didn’t have chance to tell my side of the story back then. I thought it was about time.”
Erika swallowed some bacon along with her anger. “Never heard of email?”
“A little impersonal, don’t you think? After all we once were to each other.”
“Were…” she echoed. “But not now. It’s ancient history.”
The firmness in her voice was intended to draw a line under their brief relationship. In case Aiden harboured any thoughts of rekindling the ashes, she wanted him to know that, for her, the flame had been completely extinguished.
“You sound very definite that it’s over.” A muscle twitched in his jaw, hinting at irritation.
“What do you expect? I arrived at your house to find you naked with another woman’s legs wrapped round your back. Not even you can explain that away.”
Aiden’s pale, hazel eyes flashed dangerously. Tiger’s eyes Erika had once called them – almost gold in parts; missing nothing and giving nothing away. It disturbed her to realise she could still recall every amber fleck and the long, dark lashes that framed them so seductively.
“Like I said. You never heard my side of the story.”
“You’ve had five years to make your peace.” Erika shrugged. “What’s the sudden urgency?”
“It took me a year to find you after you’d left. By the time you resurfaced, you had Marty’s henchmen standing guard. I couldn’t get anywhere near.”
Erika saw his point. After discovering Aiden in bed with another woman, she’d thrown some clothes into a rucksack and caught the first plane to America. Within the year, Marty had discovered her singing in a bar and, before she knew it, she’d been tied into a contract so tight she could scarcely breathe most days.
Aiden was overlooking one thing however and Erika was quick to remind him of it.
“In all that time, I knew exactly where to find you. Had I wanted to talk to you, I’d have called.”
“Except you didn’t think there was anything else to say. Five years ago, you took what you saw at face value, cleared out your things and left.”
“It wasn’t your face I saw.” Only your very sexy, taut arse, she could have added.
She pushed away her plate, making ready to leave. Aiden was too quick for again however, and hooked his foot around her chair leg so she couldn’t push it back from the table.
“Things aren’t quite that black and white,” he went on. “That’s why I need to talk to you. To explain. To ask you to forgive me.”
Erika had no option but to sit still and look at him. In her rush to hate Aiden Thirstan she’d forgotten how ridiculously handsome he was. He wore his dark hair shorter now than five years ago but it suited him that way, and he had a tan from a recent trip abroad. His pale eyes shone brilliantly above sharp cheekbones and he had the suggestion of a beard across his jaw, adding contours to his face and making him look as though he’d just tumbled out of a warm bed.
God he was sexy.
Even now, after spending years building defences around herself and rendering herself immune, Erika could still see exactly what had first attracted her to him and kept her close for five intense months. She shivered as if to shake herself free of the idea.
“When do you want to talk to me?” she asked instead, deciding that she may as well get it over with. “Today? This morning?”
“Why not now?” Aiden appeared surprised that she’d given in so easily but seized the opportunity. “Although not at the hotel.”
“I can’t leave. If I’m seen outside…”
“No one will recognise you,” Aiden promised. “They’ll expect to see you on a red carpet wearing a designer gown, not in jeans and boots striding across the moor.”
On balance, Erika decided she was probably safer talking to Aiden in the open air rather than in his hotel suite. At least the fans’ reactions were predictable. Added to which, the thought of escaping into the countryside and being anonymous, if only for a couple of hours, proved too seductive.
The only downside was that Erika would need to spend those two hours in the company of Aiden Thirstan and wondered whether it was worth the trade off. She decided it was.
“I’ll need my coat,” she told him, searching his face for a look of triumph but finding no trace. “I’ll meet you downstairs in half an hour.”
“If I were you, I wouldn’t mention it to Marty.”
Erika knew better than that, but wondered whether it were wise to completely disappear without telling someone where she’d gone. She instantly dismissed the idea. Whatever Aiden Thirstan wanted, she doubted he intended holding her to ransom.
Aiden released Erika’s chair so she could stand up, his eyes never leaving her as she walked quickly out of the dining room. She almost ran upstairs, desperate to put some distance between her and Aiden. Only then would she be able to think straight. Simply being in the same room as Aiden clouded her reason, let alone her judgement, and she’d need to have her wits about her if she were going to spend time alone in his company.
When she stepped back out onto the landing outside her room, Erika had a view down into the hallway where Aiden sat waiting for her. He half slouched on the sofa, his arms stretched wide across the back, his legs pushed out in front of him as if he owned the place. Even from upstairs, she could see him frowning, his jaw set and his foot tapping impatiently, as if she’d kept him waiting far too long already. It didn’t make her rush downstairs. Instead, she took a few moments to watch him unobserved.
And although she hated to admit it to herself, she loved what she saw.
She decided they could keep the Hollywood stars, and the music industry pretty boys with their style consultants and cosmetic dentistry. Aiden was more of a man than all of them put together.
Tall, strong, athletic and with a body that still brought blushes to her cheeks when she remembered the way it had moved across hers. His long legs in well-worn jeans with a tear across one knee; the heavy boots that added a good inch to his height; the thick grey sweater that made his shoulders and chest appear even broader. All effortlessly masculine with an easy self assurance that stopped the right side of arrogance.
Erika tried not to picture him naked but couldn’t help herself. He was the most exciting man she’d ever been to bed with; a tender, passionate lover, with the power to take her to the limits of pleasure and then push her body beyond them.
Five years ago, they hadn’t been able to keep their hands off one another, and every minute they’d been apart had felt like an eternity.
Something she hadn’t experienced in too long stirred and it took her a few moments to recognise it.
Lust – pure and simple.
And contained in the temptingly-moulded shape of Aiden Thirstan.
Potent, erotic pictures flashed through her head, kindling a rush of desire that weakened her knees and forced her to lean against the balustrade for support.
Aiden chose that moment to look up. He saw her and unleashed a smile that cracked the protective shell she’d spent five years building around her heart, tear by tear. He half raised his hand to beckon her downstairs and Erika complied on autopilot.
“Marty’s a fool,” he said. “He dresses you up to go on stage but you’re incredibly sexy as you are.”
“Marty has his own ideas,” she told him, struggling to focus. Aiden hadn’t made any effort to disguise his appreciation, the force of it took Erika’s breath away and she struggled to think rationally. She coughed to shake her voice into a reply. “Marty thinks sex sells.”
“What do you think?”
“It doesn’t matter what I think.” She fought to keep her tone light. “I have a contract and I’m Marty’s money-making asset. Mostly it’s a case of doing as I’m told.”
Aiden’s face had a curious stillness about it, as if this information mattered very much to him. “If you’re in trouble, you need to tell me. I’ll do anything to help. I owe you that much, at least.”
And a lot more besides, Erika could have added but she didn’t want to sound churlish when his offer had been so genuinely made.
“Thanks but I can handle it. You have no idea how accustomed I am to standing on my own two feet these days.”
“I don’t doubt it.” His eyes bore into her, searching out her secrets and no doubt reading them all. “If you remember, there was always a telepathy between us. I can read your mind – even now – so don’t try hiding anything from me.”
Erika took a step back so she could twist and pull on her coat, relieved to break the connection for a moment. Aiden reached out to help her, his fingers brushing her neck as he did so, and all her nerves came together beneath his fingertips to send thrills into her core.
For five years, she’d convinced herself that she was incapable of feeling anything but exhaustion, yet here she was, with long-dead emotions flooding in and reawakening every inch of her. She held her breath until her heartbeat returned to normal.